November 1, 2013


We rearranged our living room furniture so that Duncan wouldn't be able to get on our kitchen counter.  He used to just get on the regular counter, but lately he has gotten a little gutsy and has started climbing over our sink to where we keep our produce.  He was caught eating a tomato last week -- it was the last straw!

Since moving our furniture, our chair faces our sliding glass door.  The view from our apartment is one of the things I will miss most when we move away.  We get the best sunsets.  The mountains really make it so majestic.

I am here, in my chair, in a quiet house, just relishing the moment.  I get in contemplative moods.  This is one of them.

I am so grateful for how my life has changed in this last year.  A year ago, I felt out of control and in need of control over everything.  I would have said that all I wanted was for Clayton to get into medical school, to have a baby, and for life to move forward.

My sister in law, Heather, said once, "there's nowhere to get."  I don't know how many times that has played through my mind since she said it.  Countless, I guess.

This past January, I was in such a dark place.  I was so hopeless about our future, frustrated that I didn't have more control over it, and just negative.  I don't know what did it, but I started realizing that my picture perfect expectations of life were unrealistic and causing me a lot of sorrow.  I realized that there were millions of people around the world who would never attain my ideal life, but who were perfectly happy and content.  I realized that there really is nowhere to get.  My life is happening now -- today!  Today is the day that matters.  I realized I had to start enjoying the present, or I would look back an have a lot of empty years of waiting to account for.

I feel so much more peace now that I'm not trying to craft a perfect life.  It is ironic, though, that when I finally started to loosen up, things started to fall into place.  I guess you can't outsmart life.  I know that God has a greater purpose for me than to live in my perfectly assembled bubble.

Things are good for us right now.  Clayton is pursuing something that he enjoys.   My journey is still very much being molded -- I have a lot to learn and work on, but I am happy with where we're at...

What do you do to keep yourself present?


  1. Such a beautiful post Em! You are a lovely writer. It's great that you feel that inside. Finn has been loving reading 'Oh the places youll go' and every time I read it with him when we get to the part about the 'Waiting Place' I find myself saying, "Amen!" The waiting place is the worst place! I'm so glad you don't feel like you're just waiting for your life to start! You are present in the moment, feeling at peace. I swear it's such a gift to be able to say you feel like that. Truly! Love you! Just read your e-mail an hour ago, responding... thank you so much for sending it. Love the blog. I'm so glad you post, no matter what it is! I get so excited for every new post!

    *Oh and seriously laughed out loud about Duncan and the tomato. Haha! Great story.

  2. Heath -- thanks for commenting! I like hearing what people actually think after reading my posts.

  3. What a courageous, revealing post. Thank you for sharing. You have every right to wonder, "why is this happening?" None of us like adversity and being put on roads that we didn't choose. But, such is the nature of life--we don't control all of our circumstances. We can only control our responses. Making the most of today is a great starting point. Sometimes it takes time to turn the ship. I really think that "one day at a time" is the best way to get through tough times. As it turns out, we pass through most of our challenges--and the sun eventually rises and blue skies return. This earth life looks really different around the world. So many circumstances, challenges, opportunities--all very different. The constant, I believe, is that we're asked to make the most of our circumstances. We're asked to follow Christ--to become more Christ-like in our character. We can do that regardless of our circumstance. And that, and only that, will bring us perpetual happiness. I would love to relieve some of the burdens you've faced--but I cannot. I am happy to see that you're dealing with them in a thoughtful, prayerful, and constructive way. I am proud of you and all that you do! Love, dad.


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